Fucking Idiot
by shit bruh
Summary: "You can't stand me! I can't stand me! And our friendship is just a endless amount of pain and suffering that you'd be better off without!" Warning: Insecure House, Self hatred House, idiot House.


"I...I uh I don't think we should be friends anymore." House ends up blurting the words out and pauses before quickly adding "I'm sorry." Not waiting for a response he opens the door to leave.

"Wait! House!" Wilson stumbled up reaching out in a futile way to stop House. Who ignores his calls and only fastens his limp.

House didn't want to hear what Wilson had to say. He might convince him to turn back around and pretend this never happened, to continue their friendship.

House couldn't do that. Not to Wilson, not anymore. Oh how he wanted to do it though. To continue to be Wilson's best friend and enjoy every last second of it.

But in the end House was the only one who really enjoyed it all. All he did to Wilson was annoy him and hurt him because House is just a despicable guy yet Wilson stayed his friend. It confused House but it also made House happy.

Yes happy. House was actually happy with Wilson. Pretty much the only time he could enjoy himself and not worry about much.

It was all different with Wilson though. House bet Wilson usually only felt anger and disappointment while hanging out with House but he continues just because he's a nice guy.

Maybe that's something House actually resents secretly. Because Wilson is such a good guy he continues his destructive friendship with House and forces himself to go through so much trouble.

Trouble just for Houses sake. House hates it all.

Why can't Wilson just ditch him? Why can't Wilson ditch him and stick with it? House deserves that kind of harsh treatment. He deserves to be left alone and rot in his own misery.

He doesn't actually know what's worse. Wilson leaving him alone and House to hate himself because he know he deserved it yet still wishes to be close to the man. Or to continue the friendship and know Wilson is suffering because of him.

He's such a selfish guy to want to continue his friendship with Wilson and he can't stand himself for it.

House can't really stand himself for a lot of things but that reason is at the top.

"House look at me!" Wilson shouts forcing House back to reality.

Back to the world where Wilson is no longer his friend again. And that hurts but he's glad because that means Wilson doesn't have to, well deal with him again.

House refuses to meet Wilson's gaze.

What does he even want? They're over so Wilson doesn't have to talk to him anymore. Can't he just leave House alone so he could go home, sit down and drink maybe do something to forget everything. At least for a little while?

Of course not because House's life isn't suppose to be easy. He's suppose the go threw as much suffering as possible.

He forces himself to look at Wilson. He already pressed the elevator button anyway.

House wishes he didn't make the choice to look at Wilson again.

Because for some unknown reason Wilson actually looks hurt. Like he isn't glad to be rid of House and all his bullshit.

"House?"

Oh shit Wilson even sounds hurt. That's not good. What the fuck did House do this time? God dammit he wasn't even trying; he was actually trying not to. But then again House doesn't ever really try it just happens.

House hates himself so much for it. He just hurts people without his own consent, he doesn't think before he does something and then it's too late to take it back. So he doesn't apologize for what he's done because he doesn't deserve anyone's forgiveness.

"Yes what?" House snaps proving his own point.

He didn't mean his reply to come out so harsh. He feels like punching himself for it.

"What do you mean "what"? Greg what's wrong?" Even through his anger Wilson manages to waste his time being concerned about House.

"Nothing's wrong you idiot. What's wrong with you?"

Wilson looks stunned which he shouldn't really. House is a asshole and he can't stop it no matter how much he wants to.

"What's wrong with me? Really House? Because right now the most thing that is wrong with me is the fact that my best friend just came into my office to tell me that he thinks we should stop being friends!"

Even now as he listens to Wilson House can't understand why he sounds so hurt? Why isn't he happy? House doesn't have to be in his life anymore.

"I know we should stop being friends." House corrects him and Wilson only seems more rattled by it.

"Why? House tell me why? Did I do something wrong?"

"No!"

It slips out before House can stop it and he mentally slaps himself for it. God dammit he doesn't want to explain what he meant by "no".

"No? What do you mean no? If it wasn't something I did then why are you saying this?"

"I have to go now." House says before attempting to head for the stairs. The damn elevators are taking for ever what the hell? But he only gets about three steps away from Wilson is in his view again.

House lets out a sound of frustration. "Move."

"No."

"Wilson."

"No."

"Fine."

House does a full 180 turn heading for his office. It doesn't work because fucking hell Wilson is in front of him again.

"What the fuck Wilson!" House practically screams.

"What the fuck me? What the FUCK is wrong with you? Greg tell me what's wrong!" Wilson doesn't seem that much bothered by House's screaming because he's doing it too.

"NOTHING!" House raises his voice ever louder and Wilson copies him.

"NOTHING MY ASS GREGORY! TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG? WHY ARE YOU ENDING OUR FRIENDSHIP?!"

"BECAUSE YOU CAN'T STAND ME WILSON!"

Wilson goes silent. Shocked by what House shouted. It didn't make sense. He can't stand House? Where did he get that idea from?

"What's going on here?" It foreman's voice cutting in catching both House and Wilson off guard.

House quickly glances at him back to Wilson then away. Not making eye contact with any of them. He noticed Thirteen, Taub and Kutner as well standing a bit away looking concerned and confused like everyone else.

"Nothing."

Wilson lets out a sigh of disappointment and frustration. "This again Greg? Nothing? If it's nothing then why the hell are we out here yelling at each other? House what did you mean when you said "Because I can't stand you?"

House decides not to answer but only stand there defiantly not meeting their gazes.

"Greg." Wilson's voice has a edge to it and House hates himself a little more for it. Why can't he do anything right.

Wilson hears House mumble something out but he couldn't understand it.

"Excuse me?"

House says it again but Wilson still couldn't make it out clearly.

"What?"

House screws it all because Wilson just won't shut up and it's annoying and he hates himself, Wilson hates him, everyone hates hims so why should he care about spilling his guts right here in the hallway where staff have sort of gathered around?

Who the fuck cares.

"You can't stand me! I can't stand me! And our friendship is just a endless amount of pain and suffering that you'd be better off without!"

It seems so quiet. Why? Were inside a hospital it's never actually quiet. Where's all the whispering? The foot steps? The beeping?

"You...You can't really think that Greg? Right?"

House gasps as everything comes back and he opens his eyes. He can't remember closing them.

"You feel our friendship is just a endless amount of pain and suffering?" Wilson continued once he realized House wasn't going to reply.

"No! NO no I mean yes? Maybe? I don't know. I just, ugh oh my god I'm sorry. Forget it." Houses voice at the end is almost at a begging tone that it breaks Wilson's heart.

"No I can't Greg. What do you mean? Please. Tell me."

And so House does because really Wilson has always been Houses secret weak spot.

"I love our friendship James. I mean seriously I do. It's actually about the only thing that makes me happy anymore. I just-...I just can't stand myself. I hate being with you at the same time."

House realizes he's staring at a wall behind Wilson so he forces himself to look at Wilson as he talks. It's hard, especially because Wilson looks like a kicked puppy.

"You're so good. So great. You deserve so much happiness. You don't deserve to deal with me. You don't deserve to suffer being so close to me anymore. So please, please James let me go home and get drunk."

And then House thinks that's it. He's off the hook he can leave now with Wilson understanding why he's leaving.

But the moment House makes any movement to leave Wilson's hands are on his shoulders shaking him. Once again forcing House to look at his face.

"Greg you idiot."

Did Wilson really stop him just to tell him something he already knows? House feels the embarrassment before he's suddenly pressed against Wilson in a big warm hug.

"You fucking idiot."

Okay was there affection laced in Wilson's words? No that can't be. Especially after he just finished telling Wilson why liking him for any reason is a bad idea.

"Greg you're my best friend. I mean I love you Greg. Yes you're a pain in my ass. And it's hard to be around you most of the time but you're my best friend. I wouldn't want you any other way."

House can't seem to form any words by the end of Wilson's confession. Too lost in emotion that threatens to spill out.

He raises his arms shakily up to return Wilson's hug. And he can't help it but he grips Wilson's white coat like it's a life line and his face buries into his shoulder. Letting some tear fall and stain Wilson's coat.

He feels angry at himself to be showing emotion like this, in public no less but he can't really bring himself to care much at this moment. Because Wilson doesn't hate him. Wilson doesn't wish House to just fuck off and leave him alone.

Wilson wants to be his friend.

House sniffles trying to get himself under control before he totally loses him self and becomes even more of a mess. Wilson pats his back and releases him when House moves.

House doesn't know what to say. He's not use to anything like this. But that doesn't matter at all because Wilson is asking him if he wants to go get a beer with him.

"Yeah sure as long as you pay." Is what House finds himself saying back and he almost worries about it but then Wilson laughs and House can't help it but he's cracks a smile too.

The staff that gathered rushes apart once House and Wilson get into the elevator.

Both grinning like idiots.

* * *

Hey wow I finally made a House fic. Sorry if there's any mistakes I'm tired af and if I don't post it now I don't think I'll ever rly post it.


End file.
